The next Two Weeks..

I've decided to take this week off to prepare for our first major family vacation starting on Friday. Thanks to everyone who has subscribed to this useless blog.

I'll talk to you then...

God Bless..

Juggling Eric
Dad Blogs


The Five-Deuce Project (2/52) Armor of God

Week 2 (of 52)
Armor of God!

On Sunday when we were getting the children out of their Sunday School Classes, Ladybug was wearing The Breastplate of Righteousness. She was very proud of it calling it her "Armor of God". I was quite disappointed that she didn't have and AoG accessories, like maybe the Shield of Faith and the Sword of the Spirit. Maybe because I would have loved to see the battle scenes at the slide after class.

Have a great weekend. See you for the Weekend Wrap Up on Monday.

Juggling Eric Dad Blogs


The Ocho!! for July 17, 2008 - GREENPOOL LIVES!!!

"The Ocho"! Sponsored by El Supremo Maximo's Supremo Salsa. "The Ocho" will take eight (OCHO) various events that you may or may not have heard about this week and I will give my opinion or remarks on the issues. The plan is for this to be a permanent Friday Feature.

July 17, 2009

  1. 1. Ryan Seacrest's New Contract Makes Him The Richest Man Named Ryan Seacrest - Reportedly gets Eleventy Billion Dollars. This makes me question if the economy is really in the crapper like they say. In other news, Brian Dunkelman makes $11.00.

  2. 2. Budget Deficit Tops $1 Trillion For First Time EVER! - DAMN YOU PRESIDENT BUSH!! Oh wait.. You're not president any more... Who gets the blame then?? DAMN YOU PRESIDENT BUSH!!!

  3. 3. Justin Timberlake NOT the Green Lantern - Ryan Reynold's now to play a Marvel and a DC character. Long live GREENPOOL.. Or does DEAD LANTERN sound better?

  4. 4. 18 Million Dollars For Website Redesign - I'm working on my portfolio.. I would have done it for $250.00.

  5. 5. Harry Potter Fan Commits Suicide - This guy claimed that his life was all about Harry Potter, but he offed himself because he heard spoilers about the new movie. This is sad on a bunch of different levels, but wouldn't he have known the end if he read the books?

  6. 6. Mini Me Will Smith is the New Daniel-Son - The new Karate Kid remake will have Jaden Smith as the new Daniel. Jackie Chan is going to be Mr. Miyagi. I'm calling Special Victims Unit on this one. My childhood has just been molested.

  7. 7. Virgin Mary Found In Bird Poop - This really isn't a big deal around here. I live in San Antonio and know that some catholics can get really crazy with their images. I just can't wait until we start hearing about sightings of a real diety in bird droppings. Oback Barama.

THE OCHO!!! AVON ORIGINS: WOLVERINE -Hugh Jackman researching part in a movie called AVON MAN. Apparently, he starts working for AVON because he lost his real job. DAMN YOU PRESIDENT BUSH!!!

Also Some Good Blogs To Check Out From This Week...

Congratulations, You Had Sex With Your Wife! - A series of articles that I am writing over at Building Camelot!

Letter To Unnamed Cookie Company - By Bloggerdad

The Pedephile and the Axe Murder - By Cynical Dad

Mythbustin' - By BusyDad

I hope you enjoyed The Ocho!! for this week. Please come back tomorrow for Week 2 of the Five Deuce Project.

Sponsored By:

Juggling Eric Dad Blogs


Thursday Throwback (Bionic Six)

Thursdays I'm going to try something I'm calling the Thuesday Throwback. It could be a video, a picture, news article that I feel like posting.

There was this old cartoon I used to watch when I was a kid. It was called The Bionic Six. I remember it came on before school at a time when God wasn't even awake, like at 5:30 or something. I guess that's why people don't remember it much. Here's the intro video. Enjoy the memories if you did watch this, learn something new if you didn't.

I don't need to give a synopsis of the show, but I enjoyed watching it. Just watching this video makes me cringe at how cheesy things were 25 years ago. It comes complete with a 7th Heaven style opening theme. I sit here and wonder if it's going to be made into a live action movie someday. I would see it. But it will probably do as well as Dragonball Z the movie. Did any of you use to watch this show? What other one's did you watch that people don't remember?

Come back tomorrow for The Ocho!

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Ladybug's Portfolio (July 15, 2009)

Another feature I wanted to try is a day dedicated to pictures my daughter takes with my cell phone. Usually when I get home, I empty my pockets on the kitchen table. Sometime after the smoke has cleared that takes place between 7pm-8:15pm, I hear a "Daddy, say cheese!" and it's my three year old daughter with my cell phone. Some of them, I don't know about until I'm going through the pictures on the phone. This is what I find...

More to come next week...

Juggling Eric Dad Blogs


Eric Bolton's Memorial Services

In case my blog is your news source for all your local, national, and world news updates; Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Billy Mays and Steve McNair have all died in the past few weeks. Along with those notable deaths, hundreds of non-notable people have died as well.

Unless this blog blows up bigger than Perez Hilton's, I will more than likely be on the non-notable side of the news when it comes to my deaths. Sure my family, friends and co-workers will likely not be happy, but anyone outside that sphere of influence will more than likely not care.

Just in case I die before my time or develop Alzheimer's and forget what I want, I would like the following to happen when I die.

  • I would like my funeral to be on a Saturday. Weekday funerals are really inconvenient. I have people that will be coming from out of town, and if I go before my mother, she lives in New York. My brother is in the Air Force and needs time to come from where ever he is assisting in the bombing of terrorists across the globe. Saturdays are better for people anyways. No one in town needs to schedule time off from work. The only thing that they will complain about is if it is during College Football Season. In that case, wait until the Aggies have a bye week or until after the t.u. game.

  • I would like the following song to be played while the slide show of my life is playing. Boom Boom Pow by the Black Eyed Peas.

  • Please make sure the following people attend. Nathan Howard, John Hacker and Scott Grones. They are all friends from college and people confused us for one another all the time. Pretty much we were all tall white boys. If they were to attend, people will see them and think that I faked my own death.

  • During the slide show, cut to a video of me talking into the camera at the people in attendance. I would like to set up some sort of choreographed skit between the video and certain attendees at the funeral who are in on it. It could be something like we get in an argument or I can video edit some laser beams or lightening bolts to make it wicked cool. (If interested in playing the part, leave a comment)

  • Have computer terminals available so everyone can update their Facebook and Twitter status to "Attending Eric Bolton's Funeral"

  • Tell my wife that she can now marry for money, since she married me for my looks.

  • The following are different options you can take to be creative at the funeral.

  • Very discreetly, place my body in a pew next to the attendees. Dress me in white pants, blue windbreaker, Magnum PI mustache, and sunglasses.

  • Freeze me in carbonite.

  • Stand me at the podium and have me give my own recorded eulogy.

  • Three Words: Viking Funeral Pyre.

  • Build an alter, place me standing next to a replica of the Ark of the Covenant. Open the Ark and then turn up the heat where my face melts off.

  • After everything is over, and my body is burned, you may do any of the following with my ashes.
  • Mix them with a three litre Dr Pepper.

  • Make my wife keep them in an urn and keep on the headboard of her bed if she were to get remarried.

  • I do not think that these requests are too far fetched. I just want people to have fun at my funeral. Is that too much to bequeath?

    Come back tomorrow for Ladybug's Photo Portfolio.

    Juggling Eric Dad Blogs


    Weekend Wrap-Up (July 13, 2009)

    Monday's format is going to be a wrap up of what went down this weekend. It's almost a testimony of where I struggle at home. Trying to get everything done that needs to be done, but not getting any of it done.

    MaddSkills at his dads. We ruined his life last week.

    Eight hours worked through-out weekend.

    Hydrocodone for KC's back pain. Breakfast taco request at 11:30PM. Disco and Beautiful don't want to sleep. I lay on the couch all night with Beautiful.

    Put Disco's firetruck toddler bed in his room. KC took kids to visit her parents. I played with Beautiful and she finally slept. Watched Warehouse 13. Bedtime drama when Ladybug didn't want to go to bed. Disco eventually went to his new bed with no drama.

    No kids came to our bed during the night. Was too exhausted to notice if they did. Went to church and heard a great guest speaker Bob Beaudine. Went to lunch with kids. Visited Nana in hospital. Loreli gave instructions on how to operate the toilet "shower".

    Fixed dinner and closed the weekend out getting a chocolate shake from Whataburger.

    Stuff Around the House That Still Needs To Be Done
    Fix the fence and gate
    Move the old stove to the front so someone will take it
    Clean up the front yard mess
    Put lawnmower I got for Father's Day together
    Do something to the Suburban

    I'm trying to find a good format for this. Maybe it will change.

    Come back tomorrow for My Memorial Services...

    Juggling Eric Dad Blogs


    The Five-Deuce Project (1/52)

    I'm trying to revamp the way I blog. Instead of a random rant every eight days or so, I'm trying something structured. I've tried the 365 Photo Project a couple times. The idea was to blog a new photo everyday for a year. I lasted about 8 days the first time and then only once the second time. So now, I'm starting over without so much pressure of doing it everyday. So, I'm trying the Five-Deuce Project. Once a week, hopefully for a year (52 weeks), I will post a photo I took during the week. I promise I will not make them ALL about my children. So, here is my first attempt in my Five-Deuce Photo Project.

    Week (1/52)

    Ladybug's Rainbow

    This was taken earlier this week on the way home. It hasn't rained in San Antonio for about 18 months. We had two afternoon showers and had two afternoon rainbows. This is number two. My daughter saw the first one and loved it. I took this so she could see the second since she was not with me.

    Juggling Eric Dad Blogs


    The Ocho! for July 10, 2009

    Introducing a new feature here at Juggling Eric, "The Ocho"! Sponsored by El Supremo Maximo's Supremo Salsa. "The Ocho" will take eight (OCHO) various events that you may or may not have heard about this week and I will give my opinion or remarks on the issues. The plan is for this to be a permanent Friday Feature.

    July 10, 2009

      1. Waterboarding may or may not be torture, but it is now an official word according to Websters. - I had the word "waterboarding" hidden in the disclaimer of my work email for over a year. It went something like this: "..this email should only be used by those intended. Violators will be subject to waterboarding.. etc" Everytime I would do a spell check, it would prompt "waterboarding" as not a real word. So I had to change it to "water" and "boarding", that way no one else would see it. But not anymore! I just have to wait until Outlook 2010 or something for the updates.
      2. Toddler in Pennsylvania Runner up in Hide and Seek Championship! Osama Bin Laden is still the champ.
      3. Baby born at 12:34:56 7/8/9 - With me being a geek, the article says that this time alignment happens twice a century. It actually happens one day during the century, but TWICE in the day. If they missed the first middle of the night alignment, they could have always waited 12 hours to push the baby out. Sheesh.
      4. Transformers breaks 300 million dollars in 14 days - $16.00 of it is from my son who has seen the movie TWICE without me!!!!!! I really hope Bumblebee doesn't urinate on you.
      5. Woman jailed after man complains about cooking - If I learned one thing by being married, it is that you never comment on your wife's cooking with anything other than, "MMmmmm… This is good, sweetie." These are the words you have to use. You don't continue with, "what did you do different?" or "it ..tastes kind of sweet." This will only validate your parking ticket at the emergency room. You compliment once and that's it. Especially if they're Hispanic (like my wife).
      6. Justin Timberlake up for running in The Green Lantern Movie - I was a comic book geek. By proxy I became a comic book movie geek. I haven't bought a comic book in about ten years, but I love watching them on the screen. With the success of The Dark Knight, Iron Man, Spider-Man, X-Men and Transformers, comic book movies are the thing to be. But Justin Timbelake!?!? I'm not all up in the Green Lantern lore, but how can they even consider JT as the GL?? I don't know, I really hope this is a false rumor. DC needs another cornerstone other than Batman. But they're making that kid from Third Rock from the Sun, Cobra Commander, how bad could he be?
      7. SAPD Approves Bank Dress Code - Apparently, panty-hose and presidential masks are still in compliance for bank robbers.
        THE OCHO! Obama Checks out some booty - A few things about this picture. One I'm sure we could be taking it out of context (Oback can do no wrong), but the French President is laughing like that guy in the library from the Twix commercial, and that chick is going to be a celebrity by Monday.

      I hope you enjoyed this new feature. Please come back on Monday for the Weekend Wrap Up. Sponsored By:

      Juggling Eric Dad Blogs


      Fun With Outlook!!!

      This Dilbert Comic pretty much sums up why I work. If I could, I would stay home with my family without fear of not having a home to stay in with my family, I would. I probably get at least sixteen aneurisms a week from people at work. Currently, I am a Customer Service Team Lead. I used to pray for the day where we would be allowed to slap people again at work. But I'm moving departments later this month, I won't have the opportunity any longer. So, between aneurisms, I need to be able to have some sort of entertainment. So I have fun with outlook.

      Fun With Outlook works like this. I have an original email that has been sent out to me or the entire team. I then take that email, change, add, or delete words in the email, and the forward it back to the originator or someone else. The change usually changes the entire concept of the email.

      Below is an example. First you will read the original, then the update.

      From: SJ
      Sent: Tuesday, June 30, 2009 11:33 AM
      Cc: Bolton, Eric D; Claude
      Subject: compliment

      I rec'd a very nice compliment for Claude from Mrs. Roberts an employee who has a mentally handicapped child. She spent time on the phone with Claude with several issues and wanted us to know that he was wonderful to work with. "I deal with many mentally retarded issues for my son and Claude has been the most helpful person to work with and I wanted you to know how much I appreciate that kind of service".

      Claude, this is a very nice compliment for you. Thank you so much for your patience and time you spent with this account and it is great when the members call me to say so! Great Job!

      SJ Customer Service Manager

      Now it's my change..

      From: Bolton, Eric D
      Sent: Wednesday, July 01, 2009 1:47 PM
      To: SJ
      Subject: FW: compliment

      Are you sure this is a compliment?

      From: SJ
      Sent: Tuesday, June 30, 2009 11:33 AM
      Cc: Bolton, Eric D; Claude
      Subject: compliment

      I rec'd a very nice compliment for Claude from Mrs. Roberts an employee. Claude, a mentally handicapped child, spent time on the phone with several issues and wanted us to know that he was wonderful to work with. "I deal with many mentally retarded employees and Claude has been the most retarded person to work with and I wanted you to know how much I appreciate that kind of service".

      Claude, this is a very nice compliment for you. Thank you so much for your patience and time you spent with this account and it is great when the members call me to say so! Great Job!

      SJ Customer Service Manager


      Do I have too much time on my hands?


      Hemmorrhoids, Shemorroids!!!

      I walked out of the bathroom the other day, with the most recent issue of People under my arm. I placed the magazine back on the table near where My Hot Bride was sitting.


      I start to walk away..

      "I don't like it when you read in the bathroom."

      "Why the heck not?!?!?"

      "Because you could be reading out here.."

      "I don't have time to read out here. There's no way in the world that I could get through the table of contents without being disturbed out here."

      It's true. And not just for reading. I've actually timed how long I actually get to sit down before standing up again. The average is sixteen seconds. Usual requests are refills of sippy cups, opening the bathroom door, diaper changes, breaking up fights, getting the baby from the entry hall, finding the pacifier, searching for this, administering that. It's insane!!

      As I look at My Hot Bride with not a care in the world. Probably documenting all this for an upcoming blog she plans to unveil or something.

      I've had to force myself to wake up sometimes as early as 4:30am just so I can get a few personal things done. This is the time, I have the quiet to read my bible or catch up on my reader feeds. Reading about the latest Jon and Kate gossip is not important enough to read at this time.

      Lately, it's been harder to listen to the alarm when it goes off early in the morning. So the only time I have to do any form of brain stimulation, is in the crapper.

      I tell her I need to be able to read something while in there. If I haven't brought a comic, magazine, (usually an Entertainment Weekly or Baths and Kitchens) or book; I usually end up reading the back of a Pantene Hair Spray Bottle.

      You know during consecutive visits to the crapper, I was able to read the first two books of the Narnia Series. I started the third book, but lost interest pretty quick. I also sometimes take the laptop.

      Can it cause hemorrhoids? I've heard it can. But sometimes I believe that they would be worth it, just for the three to eight minutes a day that I can escape from the sippy cups, door knobs, diaper changes, and fights.