Out for Lunch..

I've been blogging for a while now.  Now I'm not saying that I'm a celebrity or anything like that, but this blog has brought me quite a bit of recognition.  And I'm not just talking from my mother and mother-in-law.


There was this time I was approached by this random stranger who asked me..

"Are you that funny blogger dad with five kids??"

Why yes, thanks for reading.. I appreciate it..

"I really like your book..."

Yeah, thanks.. .............. Uhh?? What book??

"Your book Sugar Milk."

Umm.. I didn't write that book?

"You're not Ron Mattocks??"

Uhh no.

Then she gets pissed off, walks away and calls me a d-bag.

Well now there's going to be even more confusion between Ron and myself because he was suckered into letting me guest post on his blog Clark Kent's Lunchbox today. 

Ron and I have a few things in common.  We're both from Texas, we're both father's of five kids, we're both step-fathers, and we're both kind of a big deal.  Him more than me.  Ron recently released his first book recently about being a stay at home dad.  I haven't had the chance to read it yet, but I haven't had a chance to read ANY book since my son was born. 

So today over at the Lunchbox, I'm talking about step-kids.  Recently, I took issue with parents constantly referring to their spouses children as "step-kids".  It's a little more serious than what you're use to here.  So please go check it out and if you're not familiar with Clark Kent's Lunchbox, go check it out and buy his book.


But before you do that.. Go read my guest post...

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Six Months Already?!?!

I can't stinkin' believe it, my baby girl, Em is going to be SIX MONTHS OLD on Sunday.

I'm not old enough to have a six month old kid!!!


Anyways. I'm keeping it short again today.  Family is coming into town for my brother's graduation.

Have a great weekend my friends while I delve into a mid-life crisis.

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Open Letter To My Friends and Family

Dear Friends and Family, 

Around this time of year I know all of you get nervous when it comes to KC and myself.  You always find out some way or another that KC is pregnant.  I'm pretty sure everyone is wondering what has been going on with me and not putting full effort into my blogging as of late.  I just wanted to let you know that this year there is ...


..no new baby.


That's just a random 17 week ultrasound there.


No new babies this year.

Just to let you know.

The Fatal Five are doing well in their training and are not in need of any new recruits.

Love,
Eric and Family.

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Father's Day Weekend

I hope that the dads out there had a great Father's Day Weekend.  I know I did.  My weekend actually started on Friday afternoon.  I was invited to go fishing with my father-in-law and brother-in-law.  At first I thought maybe it was a trap.  I couldn't remember if I had pissed off KC in recent memory to the point where she called in that "favor" from her brother and father.  We spent the night at the lake and we had a great time hanging out, talking and catching the occassional fish.
It was my first time really fishing in my adult life.  We ended the trip with a total of seven catches eight if you count the turtle my brother in law snagged
I was the winner with a 24inch catfish.  It's the big one you see here. 

I was quite proud of my score.
I get home Saturday afternoon and hang out with the family.  We talk about our time apart and about plans possibly of taking the kids fishing eventually. 
Sunday we went to church and KC and the kids gave me my gifts.  My wife if so cool.  She got me a Captain America T Shirt.  The drawings from the children were all awesome.  We spent time with KC's dad, my dad and brother, and a little time with KC's step-dad. 
Her mom and step-dad got me a pretty sweet tool box and tool set.  I will not be borrowing his tools for a while now.
I'm legit.

The only downside was that MaddSkillz is in North Carolina and couldn't be here.
  
How was your weekend??
Have a great week my friends..

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A Top Ten Moment in Fatherhood

A couple weeks ago my little sister got married.  It was bittersweet for me.  I was happy to see my sister get married, but I have not spent any time with my new brother-in-law.  I make this important because my sister was a single mother and it was important to me that he steps up to the plate and be a father to my niece that she needs.  Her bio dad was young and had allegedly done some pretty bad things.  Knowing what little I do about her husband, I felt safe that there would be a foundation to build upon and grow from there.  That same weekend, everyone in my family was at my brother's house.  When my sister's family was leaving, my niece looked up to her step-dad and called him "Daddy".

Wow.  That didn't take long.

He even got on to her during the visit as well.

Ok, I feel that so far he's doing a good job with their relationship by not letting the new kid see what they can get away with.  He moved into the role quite nicely with confidence and my niece is comfortable with whole situation.  With her biological father there's uncertainty, with her new dad there's the feel of being secure.

With MaddSkillz I didn't inspire the same confidence that my new bro had shown.  Maybe it was his FBI training versus my CSR training.  Quite possibly he understood that her father was not going to be around and came through with exactly what my concerns were before going into the marriage. 

With MaddSkillz, we were buddies first.  Even during times when his mother and I weren't talking to one another, I still hung out with him.  I wasn't trying to be a father figure to him, I was just trying to be a positive influence to him.  His dad has never really stepped up to the plate when it has come to MaddSkillz the past 15 years.  He sees him every other weekend, pays child support, but doesn't connect with him emotionally and on different levels that I have.  The fact is his dad hasn't shown MaddSkillz enough effort for him to take his dad's hand and say "let's go".

We've tried to get him to make the motions towards building a relationship with his dad, but he's resisted saying his dad should be the one doing it.  This is true, but sometimes people don't know their doing something wrong unless you tell them.  Nothing happened and his resentment for his father has grown.  He only goes to his dad's out of obligation and he feels that his dad only takes him for the same reason.

The other day, MaddSkillz and his mother were having a discussion and it went back to his dad (KC has been nothing but supportive in regards to MaddSkillz developing a healthy relationship with his dad), and MaddSkillz became emotionally upset. It suddenly came out that he feels guilty for some feelings that he has in regards to his dad.

He told his KC that he sees me more as his father than he does his own dad.

When I heard I wanted to cry. 

This is like a top ten fatherhood moment here. 

A boy that is not mine by blood, even after all the stuff we've been through, sees me in a way that I never expected.  I've never tried to replace his dad, and I have never gone out of my way to make myself seem like a better person than his dad.  I was just doing what needed to be done.  To me he is no different than my other children, even if he never calls me "Dad".

Have a great weekend my friends.  And if you're blessed to be a dad this weekend, Happy Father's Day.

For more great dad stories, go check out Fatherhood Friday over at Dad-Blogs.

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Expectations

There are a few places dads should not take their kids.  Bars, construction sights, gun ranges are gimmies.  But I'm talking about sacred places like Home Depot and Auto Zone.  At Home Depot, every aisle is a potential death trap for an untethered child.  While at Auto Zone, standing in the tool aisle provides a hyperactive kid with musical instruments the creators could not have imagined possible.  


Well the other day, I neglected the rules of no children in Auto Zone and took the Triad (Ladybug, Disco, and Celi).  I had finished working on the brakes that morning and needed to get brake fluid, a turn signal bulb, and a star driver to remove the rear light casing.

Before we went inside, I knew the flashing lights and shining tools would set off the chemical in their little brains and make them go crazy with hyperactivity if I didn't lay down the rules.  During their trip inside, they were relatively cooperative (due in part of me offering them a bribe promising them to do something fun afterwards). 

Now when I go into AutoZone, I have an idea of what I'm looking for.  I am not what you called "Mechanically Gifted", but I do have enough skills to make my wife go "Nice Job, Honey."  I purposely get myself greasy just so she thinks I did a lot of work. 


We're getting out of the van, when a car pulls up next to us.  A guy takes his son (roughly the same age as Disco) from the back seat and can't help but notice me with the Triad.  Celi is on my hip and I'm directing Disco to head straight for the curb.  He gives me props for handling three kids while he has a hard enough time with one.  I tell him that I had to offer an incentive prior to going in to make sure they behave.


The short time inside, I was admired for my mad child handling skills three more times. 


Yes!! I may not command respect with my handling of a ratchet, but show up at AutoZone and handle three kids without them pouring antifreeze everywhere and it's all about praising my other "manly" abilities.


I get home and tell this to KC.  Hoping to hear "Nice Job, Honey", she gives me.....


"Only because you're a guy.  If I walked in there they would expect it from me because I'm a woman."


Does she have a point?  I guess I'm guilty of it as well when I see a guy corralling kids up by himself I think to myself, "Heck yeah! Do it Brother!".  But when a woman is doing it, I think it just comes natural.  Do I lean this way because it's been the norm my entire life?


Or is it that people have low expectations of dads because of the negative press they get in the mainstream media?  But could it be because we men of mad child handling skills haven't stepped up to the plate and proven with consistently that we are capable of leaving an AutoZone in pretty much the same condition as when we found it?


What do you think?


Have a great day my friends.

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Deus Ex Machina

Forgive me if I use a lot of LOST references, but I am a big LOST fan.  What drew me into LOST was the suspense and the mysteries that surrounded the characters, plots, and happenings on the Island.  In the middle of season three, they announced they would do three more seasons.  This meant they had three more seasons to answer all the questions and mysteries we learned in the first three.  The Writer's Strike in 2007-2008 limited the number of episodes in season four, so had to cut some corners and just forget about some of the mysteries and questions asked.  Season six did a good job of revealing the major Island mysteries from season one.  For example, what is the black smoke, Adam and Eve, the whispers.  But there were other questions that we just had to forget about.


Why can't women who get pregnant on the island, give birth on the island is a big one.
Like LOST, my blog has provided some mysteries and have left viewers wondering what happened.  Well sometimes the results doesn't necessitate an entire blog post.  So I'll post the closing of the stories I've brought up and never followed up on.

Disco Breaks Arm
At the end of February, Disco broke his arm pretty fierce.  I only posted once about the subject and never followed up on his treatment. He got a hard cast put on and was back to normal.   He broke his arm on Saturday and stopped taking his meds on Monday.  He was a real trooper.  The only way you knew his arm was broken was he was wearing a cast.  He still ran, jumped, wrestled and played with his sisters all the same.  He used it to break a lot of falls, but no one was hurt by the cast.  He got the cast of four weeks after it was initially put on.  He was scared when it came off.  Not of the cast saw, but of the fact he didn't have his cast any longer.  He wanted it back on. 

His bone healed at a 40 degree angle and it is noticeable by looking at his arm. The doctor showed me his new x-ray versus an x-ray he had on file of the same scenario.  He then showed the same arm as a 13 year old and it was perfectly straight.  The doctor said that if we wanted, we could break his arm again and put pins on his bone if we were concerned.  We decided that wasn't what was best for Disco.

It hasn't hindered him at all.  He did stop sucking his thumb because it was the hand that was cast.

Celi Sleeping Through the Night
In my open letter to my middle daughter, I addressed the fact she was not sleeping through the night on almost a daily basis.  My nights would involve getting out of bed around 2 AM, getting her from the crib and lying her on a couch while I laid on another.  I'd fall asleep, she might fall asleep.  This would probably happen 6 out of the 7 days of the week.  At her 18 month check up last month, we brought up our concern for her night time antics.  The doctor noticed another ear infection (2nd one this year).  He prescribed her some antibiotics.  We also were giving her some Nasonex for allergies as well as Sudafed. 

Well I'm happy to say that she is probably sleeping 5 out of the 7 days IN HER ROOM!!

It's a great thing that I do not know what to do with myself at 2 AM any longer.

Ladybug Playing T-Ball
Ladybug surprised us on how well she's taken on to T-Ball.  I haven't been able to practice with her as much as when the season first started, but she's an amazing player.  Now I'm not judging her through Daddy Vision (well maybe I can be), but other parents have told us that she's tough, fast, has a great arm, and always wanting to play.  For that she plays pitcher, first and second base.  She's the tallest on the team even beating out a couple five year old boys.

She constantly asks us if she has a game or practice.
 
At the beginning of the season while sitting at practice, the couch would constantly tell Ladybug to get ready.  I'm watching and she's in the baseball ready position.  Why does he keep telling her when there's kids in the outfield picking their nose and using their glove like a mask?  I was going to talk to him about it after practice one day but then it hit me.

He's not correcting her by telling her to get ready, he's encouraging her by telling her to get ready.  She's one of the few that are out there playing because they want to play.  Unlike the other kids who are either too young and have no attention spans or are there because their parents want them to there.

She still has a lot to learn and I'm hoping that she'll want to play again next season.  There's no way I'm signing her up for Fall Ball League.


Emsters on a Roll
Emsters is now five months old.  She rolled over from her back to front a day or so shy of turning four months.  She had a lot of pressure from her dad because all the other kids rolled in their third month of life.  A week or so later she rolled from front to back.  She can also pivot and turn around  180 degrees.  We could in theory place her on the dinner table and use her as a Lazy Susan.

Madd Acting Skillz
MaddSkillz was in a few plays this year through school.  The play I mentioned a few months ago, Medea, was their play for UIL competition.  Again, looking through Daddy Vision I didn't have any qualms about what I had experienced. Well maybe a few about the lead male character talking like he had lemonheads in his mouth. 
A short time later, they presented the play for the UIL Judge.  I thought this was weird because you think you would want a variety of opinions.  They ended up getting third place.  To me I thought it was great, to my son he thought it was crap.  The judge actually based his opinion of the performance on film version and said it should have been more like the film instead of their own interpretation. 

He's moved on.  


The theatre department had a banquet and awards ceremony a few weeks ago.  MaddSkillz was presented with an "Outstanding Breakthrough Performer" award.  He's quite proud of it.  


We also found a movie was looking for 13-15 year old boys, so we sent in an audition video recently.


So there you have it.  MYSTERIES REVEALED.


Now I know they're not as mystic as LOST.  Heck they're not even as mystic as Dora the Explorer, but it fills in the gaps right?


Have a great week my friends.


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GTFO

A few weeks ago during the last few episodes of Lost, two of the characters died together.  The couple was Jin and Sun Kwon.  They had just been reunited after being separated by apparent death and three decades for almost two seasons.  The couple had a daughter who Jin never met (because he was stuck on the island when Sun was rescued).  They were finally reunited an episode before they died.  They were on a submarine with other characters trying to escape when a bomb exploded and Sun became trapped.  Unable to free her, Jin said he was not going to leave her again (He left in Season 1 on a raft in hopes to get her rescued when it blew up, and the freighter he was on blew up as well at the end of Season 4.)  Jin had a chance to save himself but didn't go.  Sun told him to leave, he said he wasn't going to leave her again.  They both died.

It was the saddest moment of the series beating Charlie's death.

So it sparked a conversation between myself and KC.

She told me that I better leave if we happened to be in a similar situation.

I told her that I most certainly would not.  There would be NO WAY IN HELL that I would leave my wife alone to die.  I know. I know.  I have five kids.  But there is no way that I would leave my wife if I am able to escape.  It's not that I can't live without her, I just can not let something happen to her if I'm not willing to let happen to myself. 

She thought I was crazy.

I asked her if she would leave the kids.

She said No.

"Why?"

"Because I'm supposed to protect them." she said.

Exactly.

What if the situation was reversed?

In the theatre of your mind picture the following situation.

[The bomb on the submarine blew up and tore a hole in the hull.  Water is flooding in.  Jack tells Hurley to take Kate to safety since she was just shot.  Metal had trapped Eric against the wall.  After getting some of the debris removed with the help of Jack and Sawyer.  KC realizes that Eric is trapped unable to escape.   Sawyer is knocked out by something and Jack has to help Sawyer.  Jack knows that Eric and KC haven't seen each other in two seasons and offers to leave the last oxygen tank for them.]

Eric:  KC.  I love you so very much.  But I want you to escape.

KC:  Okay!

Eric:  Don't argue with me.... What??

KC:  I said, Okay.  I love you Honey.

Eric:  You're just going to leave me.

KC:  We have kids.  I need to take care of them.

Eric: You're not going to die with me?

KC:  Uh, no.

Eric: Well I guess this is it??

KC:  If it makes the last few minutes of your life feel any better.  My next husband will have some big shoes to fill.

Eric:  Tell the kids I love them, if you could.

KC:  Yeah, speaking of the kids.  Do you mind if they call my next husband "Daddy"???

Eric:  I think I'd have a problem with it..

KC:  Don't worry about it.  I'll let them decide.  What do you think about Sawyer?? Do you think he's over Juliet yet? How long after you drown will it be acceptable for me to hit on him?

Eric: How long have you been thinking about this??  Is this something we should really be talking about in my last minutes of life??

KC: Yeah, you're right.

Eric: So..

KC:  So..

Eric: ........

KC:  Bye Honey..

[kiss on cheek]

KC:  JACK!!! WAIT UP!!!

[and scene]

Yeah, it would probably go something like that.  Now she would not be so flippant as portrayed above.  But she would think of the kids (which I would hope she does).  I would not want her to stick around for me if she could be saved. 

A friend of mine who is not married said that he would have left her to drown.  He wasn't being mean about it, although he said there were hotter women out there than Sun he didn't want to make the kid an orphan.

Is it a husband thing?  Am I the only one who thinks this way?  Yeah I know that the kids are involved.  But can you really leave your wife to save yourself?  I know it's a tough question.  But speaking hypothetically.

Have a great weekend my friends.


And while you're at it.  Check out Fatherhood Friday over at Dad-Blogs.

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The Story of The San Antonio Screw Job

I've mentioned quite a bit about how my son and I enjoy watching professional wrestling.  Around 9 and 10 years old he acquired a nice collection of wrestling figures (the same ones I used in my Wrestling Zombies movie).  He also had quite a few different replica championship belts.  Now they are not the metal ones, but the plastic ones you can find in the toy aisle at Wal-Mart or Target. 

Around this time, he and I would have little "matches" where I would try and pin him for a three count and win the belt.  These were usually instigated by me when he wouldn't expect it.  For instance if he was watching TV I would come up and pounce on him and do a quick three count.  I'd declare myself the champion and run off victorious.

He'd complain that he wasn't ready, I counted too fast or his shoulders were not down.
Needless, I'd give into his whining and give him back his belt because he took it seriously.  I eventually stopped playing with him because he'd get upset every time.

November 17th, 2005. 
My daughter  is one month old.  I'm particularly happy this morning.  It could be that I only had two kids at this point in my life, but more than likely it was because it was my birthday.

I had my little ladybug with me when I went into MaddSkillz room to wake him up for school.  I would pretend to have Ladybug kick him in the face while he was sleeping to wake him up.

That's when I had the idea.

I sat Ladybug on his chest and counted a quick onetwothree!!!

I declared Ladybug the champion, grabbed the belt off his nightstand and took off from the room with my new protégé in one hand and her belt in the other.

Huge smile on my face.

Racing behind me was MaddSkillz pissed off like he was screwed out of an actual match.

He started ranting and raving about how his shoulder was up and how I counted too fast and it didn't count.  He went on and on and on and on and on and on and on.  I eventually gave the belt back to him but under protest.  I said that Ladybug was still the champion that day and there was nothing that he could ever say to take that away.

It was the last time anyone of us had a wrestling match with him.

A month later at Christmas, Ladybug got this little present for her big brother.





That's right, a framed autographed picture of her as champion.  Complete with WWE logo and EVERYTHING.  I managed to take the picture before I gave him back the belt.

Oh he was pissed.  He hated the picture.  Still after a month he still would not concede to losing a game.  He wanted to throw it away or something.  His mom and I got upset at him and we took the picture back and set it up in our room.

May 2010.

I'm in the kitchen and MaddSkillz is playing with the kids.  It's a rare occurrence because he's usually telling them to leave him alone.  Everyone is having fun and I hear MaddSkillz say something.

"I won and you have never beat me Ladybug."

Oh really?!?

A few minutes later, I find the framed picture and show it to Ladybug. 

"When MaddSkillz comes back in here, show him the picture and tell him that you HAVE beat him before."

He comes back and Ladybug shows him the picture.  He immediately objects and says that it never happened and that Daddy cheated.

Really?!?  Really after five years?!?  Is it really going to go on forever??

Bret Hart eventually forgave Shawn Michaels for the Montreal Screw Job.  I don't see MaddSkillz ever getting over the San Antonio Screw Job anytime soon.


Have you noticed if your kids (if they're old enough) can be sore losers?


Have a great day my friends...





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RedEnvelope Product Review: Car Trunk Organizer & Cooler



This weekend I was given the opportunity to review a product for RedEnvelope.  RedEnvelope is an online store that specializes in upscale, personalized, and unique gifts for any occasion.

From the list of Father's Day Products for review, I chose the car trunk organizer and cooler.  I could have chosen the beer holster or the superhero cuff links, but I've really become a lot more practical with my purchases since becoming a father.  So I chose the organizer and cooler for review.

When I told my wife that I was getting the chance to review a product from RedEnvelope, I showed her the picture you see above.  She looked at it and squinted her nose in a judgmental way and said, "It looks small."  The way I thought, even if it isn't HUGE, any way to start organization in my mini van would be a start.

I received the package 24 hours after confirmation.  Now I'm not sure if this is standard shipping for all orders or just for product reviews, but I was impressed with the turn around time.  Inside the shipping box, the product was packaged in a very nice red gift box wrapped with a white ribbon and a card attached.  When I read "personalized"  on their website, I thought they only meant on particular products.  The card had a personalized note to me thanking me for my assistance.  So far so good RedEnvelope.





The organizer has three equal sized compartments. The sides are very sturdy and the whole things is collapsible and can latch with Velcro straps. I was impressed with the construction of the organizer, the sides didn't fall down or go limp when the cooler wasn't placed inside.

The cooler is removable for transporting the cold drinks or food away from the vehicle. The cooler can fit about 20 cans of soda.

The organizer and cooler couldn't have come at a better time.  We were the parents to bring the snacks on Sunday for Ladybug's T-Ball game.  So I loaded up with the organizer with snack bags and Gatorade and headed for the game.





The organizer and cooler was a perfect carrier for the snacks and drinks.  The cut out handles on the side made it very easy for moving from the van to where the players were to pass out their snacks.  I also noticed while carrying the product, it did not collapse on itself and fold into the middle where it was the heaviest.

I was very pleased with the product and it even made my wife a believer after her first reaction.

With Father's Day around the corner, I would suggest giving RedEnvelope a try.  I am in the customer service field, and when I do business with another company that has outstanding customer service as I've been privy too with RedEnvelope, I like endorsing them.

The fine people at RedEnvelope are also offering my readers a 10% discount when they order online using the code 10offred.

Full disclosure: All opinions expressed in this review are my own and not influenced in any way by the company. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider. I have been compensated and given a product free of charge, but that does not impact my views or opinions.

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Randomness and Cynicism - SE7EN

Ladybug is scared to flush the toilet.  I believe it started in the Wal Mart restroom and the automatic flusher.  She was getting  up and the loud maelstrom of water roared in the stall and it scared the proverbial crap out of her.  So now when we are out and she needs to go to the bathroom, I have to cover the sensor so she won't get scared.

This phlushphobia has made it way to our house.  She has developed her own mantra when it comes to going potty at home.
When it's yellow, let it mellow.  When it's brown, close the lid and leave it for Daddy to be surprised and have him get rid of it.

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I like it when my wife works out.  And it's purely for selfish reasons.  You know?  The fact that exercising creates endorphins. Endorphins makes people happy.  Happy people just don't kill their husbands.  They just don't.


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We've gotten into the habit of doing laundry every day.  By doing I mean washing, folding, AND putting away.  Sometimes the clothes would sit on the couch for days weeks.  MaddSkillz would have to dig through the pile every morning looking for something to wear.  He'd be frustrated because sometimes he couldn't find something to wear.  Now that the laundry basket has been staying virtually empty except for what we wore the day before, he has the problem of forgetting what he wore earlier in the week.  He now could end up wearing the same shirt twice in the same week if he's not careful.

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For some reason shards of broken glass have manifested from the soil of my back yard.  It's where the dogs hang out and no grass is present in the area.  The ground is drying up and pieces of broken glass show up every day.  Some are still stuck in the dirt.  It's weird how it got there, because I'm not sure how.  It's right outside the window and I'm thinking maybe prior to us moving in, the window was broken in the fire we were told about.  The fire was in the kitchen and the living room (the room with the window adjacent to the yard) is right next to the kitchen.  Both those rooms have newer windows versus the rest of the house.  So, I assume that the window was broken, fell into the area dirt and covered up without being picked up.

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MaddSkillz has grown his hair out since sixth grade.  The thing is he won't do anything with it most of the time.  It usually ends up looking like a bowl cut when we get it cut.  But we could spend 30 bucks to have it done at a hoity toity hair saloon like we've done before.


Uh no.


We've told him how he could cut it so it doesn't look like a bowl, or cut it shorter but he doesn't want to listen.


We're wrong and don't know what's cool.


He has a new girl he like.


MaddSkillz tells his mom the other day.  


"Taylor and her mom said they like my hair short so I'm not letting it grow any longer than it already is."


Seriously!??!?!!?!?!?!?1


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We've started having issues with our kids not telling us the complete truth when asked.  Usually it involves something happening to something or someone in another room without parents present.  The kids don't want to take blame for whatever happened.  When asked who did something, when it was obviously Disco, he will say it was his little sister.  When I tell him that Celi is going to get in trouble and if he is okay with that, he says "Yeah!"

Right now he has no problem throwing his sister under the bus.

Then there is my lovely daughter.  Usually she'll blame it on the other guy, but when I keep asking her (again knowing she is lying to me) she'll say it was her.

Well the other day I went into the kids room and on the floor was some ripped out pages of one of their books.  No big deal, there's not a book in the house that doesn't have a page torn or something.  In this case, the page was ripped out and then ripped into little pieces.  So I confronted my daughter about it and she told me that a dog did it.
"A dog??!??!?"

A dog came into her room and ripped up the book and then left.

Yes, a dog she confirms.

So I take her on a walk to go see Mommy and let her hear the story of the mystery dog for herself.

"Ladybug, tell Mommy who tore the book in your room."

She points at herself.

"You?!"

I look at my wife, "She told me a dog tore up the book in her room."

"Daddy!! I was the dog.  I was pretending to be a dog and I went into my room and I chewed the book up an tore the pages."

"....................................."

Mommy covers her face as not to hold the near explosion of laughter that is about to come out.  I try so hard to hold my bearing and tell her something about not telling me stories anymore about imaginary personalities when I ask a question.

You've got to be kidding me..

Have a great day my friends..

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